How to collect bribes off tourists to Uruguay (Manual policlinica de Uruguay pp33-35 capitulo 7,1)

Step1 : Stand on road and wait for likely looking target, any laden motorcycle will do fine.
Step2 : Flag down motorcyclist and advise them they were speeding.
Step3 : Advise motorcyclist of the speed limit (90km/h). Advise motorcyclist of his speed (120 km/h)
Step 4: Motorcyclist says he didn´t think the bike went that fast. Know that this is bullshit. Point out that you were waiting at the bottom of a hill. (Can you imagine a NZ cop pointing out they were trying to catch you out on a straight downhill?)
Step 5: Advise motorcyclist you don´t like to give fines but that you are paid on commission from the fines. (Again, try to picture a NZ cop saying that. Go on)
Step 6: Explain, ´and fines are very expensive in Uruguay`.
Step 7: Motorcyclist becomes suspicious. Motorcyclist is glad he gave cop his international paper licence instead of his real one. Motorcyclist says he has very little money.
Step 8: Go to fine book, pull out a piece of paper in a table showing that 30 km/h over the limit is U$5500, US$250 approx. Motorcyclist will visibly wince at this.
Step 9: Again, mention that you regret it but, ´this is how we are paid`. After all, you don´t want to propose a bribe. Offer him to option to pay fine on the spot. Make motorcyclist aware he may pay in dollars if he wishes.
Step 10: Motorcyclist doesn´t have any money. Shrug shoulders sympathetically. ´Well I hate to do this to you. Here, look at this ticket in this square it says ¨documents retained¨. You can pay at the station on your return if you like but I will need to take your licence.
Step 11: Motorcyclist apologises. Says it was a mistake but asserts he doesn´t believe he was traveling at 120 km/h.
Step 12: Stand strong. I will have to take your licence.
Step 13: Motorcyclist says, ´well I have very little cash. I had some taken from me in Colonia. I will need to go to a bank. I will have to pay when I come back, that is if you feel you have to give me a ticket.`
Step 14: Motorcyclist really has no cash or if he does he has called your bluff. If you write a ticket, you have to accompany him to the station to find out where to collect licence. You also miss out on your ´commission bonus` by booking him through the system. Besides, there will probably be an Argentinian with more cash than brains driving 140km/h any moment now. This is too hard
Step 15: Have a change of heart. You are really a nice guy. Just abruptly give up. ´You know, I´m not going to give you a ticket. Be careful, you need to slow down. It really was a pleasure to meet you.`
Step 16: Motorcyclist will thank you profusely, pretend like this is standard, close bags and fight urge to pull a wheelie.

* The Automobile Association charges $20 for a paper International Driving Licence. There is no legislation stating you can not have more than one of these permits. These can be exchanged conveniently for infringement notifications in many Central and South American countries.

Apart from this exchange, Uruguay seems very pleasant and friendly. I made the border to Brasil today. The internet cafe is closing so I will write more some other time. Chau.

Posted on Wednesday, September 12th, 2007 at 12:05 am in Josh's Journal.
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